This morning, the sun peeked out over the trees across from my kitchen door with eager orange and magenta rays attempting to chase away the wispy grays of night. Seeing the burgeoning hope of a new day, I smiled after a night of fitfully tossing and thinking over our move.
We’re still in need of a home and we’re three weeks away from our move. Crunch time. Scary Times. Time to put on my brave.
But, can I tell you a secret? I’m not so great in the crucible of faith. Yeah, sure we evacuated New Orleans, started a family too young, and planted a church that never took off– I guess you can say I have great faith. But more often than not, when God calls me, it’s a stumble towards him and not the coveted walk of a the surety that she’s successfully been around the “Big Faith” block.
No, I stumble and skin my knees and then stay there to pray because, seriously, I don’t know what else to do. Some may say this is the right posture, but I want to be Xena, Warrior Princess of Faith terrific with the Sword of the Spirit and not some lady in waiting twiddling her fingers in fright. But, God keeps picking me up, dusting off my knees, and saying, “As you were.”
This morning I realized that even though I’m mousey at 8pm, I’m Xena before the sunrises. When I wake up, drink a coffee, and accept the quiet of the morning, I’m terrifying, y’all. Truly. Scriptures press into my heart soften with new mercies with ease in the morning. I can see truth shimmers in the dusk. I’m fresh for the day and this morning, I realized with a great irritation that, “Oh God, I’m a morning person, aren’t I?”
Yeah, I am. Like I told someone yesterday, “I’m on fire in the morning. If you need something done- have me do it before 6am.” It’s true, so, I guess I should own it, which brings me to today’s post the first of a weekly series, I hope: “Six Impossible Things Before Breakfast.”
While watching the sun come up, I realized that could own the day. Fear would tremble at my resolve as I turn my face towards my day and not let it run me over from behind. Which made me think of my favorite scene from “Alice in Wonderland” where she finally defeats the Jabberwocky by leaning into the impossible and believing them to be truth. I loved how truth was subjective to her- everyone else already believed in food that make girls grow or drinks that shrink them. They believe wholeheartedly in the events of the Frabjous Day ending the Red Queen’s tyranny. But Alice didn’t-yet. She had to believe the impossible for herself and then she could defeat her greatest enemy.
Hmmmmm… there’s something there for me, this Early Riser, isn’t there? Just because my impossibilities are proven truths for others, it’s doesn’t negate the herculean effort it takes for me to trust them, right? I mean, I’m pretty easy to love my enemies but trust that God wants to give me good things- man- that’s a daily toughie.
So, I give you my six impossible things. My hope with this weekly exercise is that I marry my morning efficiency with positive thinking to prepare me for the day. Now, full Type-A disclosure here: some of my “impossible things” might have a bit of a to-do tint to them, coloring the day with expectations, but I’m ok with that. Believing I can do it is more than half the battle.
I hope these inspire you to think of your own six impossible things.
1: I can purge, pack up, and clean the living room today.
2: Even though their mama has been a new brand of crazy this week what with my demanding when I should be encouraging, crying jags in the bathroom, and overfeeding of Kraft mac n cheese, my children will not be scarred for life! They will learn from my scars and together we’ll grow as followers of the One who isn’t ashamed to show his- especially if it helps another know him more truly.
3: I can use my imagination for good and stop spinning out, completely worrying over my biggest fears about our move around. “What if” are pernicious words that are banned from my vocabulary today.
4: God can find us a house to settle in LA with enough room to host, the important comforts needed to relax, and good schools for the kids. He’s my Omni-resourceful Father who wants to provide. If I , a mother wouldn’t dream of leaving my children in a lurch then why do I think God would do that to me? Crazy-sauce thinking, all of it.
5: Today, I can have a conversation with the hubs just to enjoy the sound of his voice and the timber of his laugh.
6: I can go to bed tonight know I did, I know, and I am enough.
Seeking Shalom Before Breakfast This Morning,